I had a very stressful day at work today. My boss does not trust me. I noticed this from day 1. She has her favourites in the office. So with that already on her mindset pretty much everything I do is no good for her. All of my suggestions just go nowhere. Every time I would make a suggestion, I get stopped before I even finish what I was going to say.
We all started at the same time in that department. It’s been 5 years now. Her favourite started a few months after but in a totally different department. She only joined our department after about 2 years.
Today my boss basically just trashed something I had been working on for a long time and wanted everything redone by the whole team. She also accused me of lying for saying that I was doing what she was asking us to do.
She was asking the impossible. She wanted me to go thru 1,400 entries in an Excel file and investigate each one of them, alone. I kept telling her there were other ways to do the job more efficiently but like I said before, she would not listen to my suggestions. Who has been doing that job for the longest time? Me. She has not even touched any of what we have been doing in our department. She has no idea the pains we have to go through to accomplish our tasks.
But no, she wanted everything redone — bothered every team member to do the job that I was in charge of. This particular job was not my main task. It was something we have to do after we complete our main tasks for the day.
The company’s system is pretty much flawed and a huge mess. Yes, there are efficiencies but that particular job I was working on was a huge mess. For a company who is worth billions of dollars, this mess is inexcusable.
So, don’t blame me for not finishing fixing this mess, alone, on top of my other more important tasks.
What a mess. And my boss would go to her favourite every time I talk… without even letting me finish.
She does not trust me – well I have also completely lost my trust in her.
I will never be the same person again in the office.
This has happened in the past, but I resorted to quitting my job which I fully regret. This time, I will not quit. I will stand my ground. I will keep working, finish the tasks given to me, and keep my mouth shut if not asked… but if I get taken advantage of, I will speak up.
And what angered me today, is that this favourite of her had the guts to speak up during one of our staff survey results meeting. She blurted out that the tasks were not distributed equally amongst the team members… She has been complaining a lot about this. It’s infectious. One other colleague who has been her partner in crime has been doing the same thing. Nothing can please these two. Because of their attitude, one of my colleagues left the Team. They had been complaining about her. This favourite needs to think carefully before she releases anything that comes out of her mouth.
And so, I spoke up during that meeting and I asked who she was referring to because I felt that I was being targeted. I have this one main responsibility that involves a great deal of work. This lady has multiple tasks but they are extremely easy tasks. Actually everyone else is in the same situation. I hold the largest task in the office. When I confronted her in the meeting she said she was not referring to me but I already know her - she is two-faced and a liar. The large task was handed over to me when the person they were targeting left. And now, they are targeting me.
I sent out a really long email to my boss before this meeting by the way and just blurted out everything I felt, in a nice tone of course. I also complained to her about some staff who have the attitude I was referring to earlier and I mentioned that she probably already knew what I was talking about because it became a huge issue in the past. I told her these stuff have been causing me distress.
I wasn’t going to say anything to my boss but I’m glad I did because I will fight back. I don’t care if she is my boss. Of course I will still respect her out of her position/level but I will not let her degrade me and tell lies about me… and I will do the same thing to her favourite.
Thank God I will be on vacation next week. But this has been causing so much stress and anxiety. I think I might break down.
Everything that’s been happening now has been ruining my quitting from smoking. I smoke a lot again today just to relieve all these nonsense stress.
[banner image credit: Workfest by TriNet Zenefits]