Thursday, December 28, 2006
We have endured a good two and a half months, the longest relationship I've ever had. Wasn't that sad? I am really terrible with relationships.
Going to Osaka, Kobe and Tokyo and hanging out with my friends was one of the best things I've done to myself. I was very happy even for a short time. I realized how much I love my friends. Being with them made me forget the pain and loneliness of breaking up. But as soon as I got on the highway bus back to my little town in central Japan, the pain and loneliness came back to me.
I still don't know whether I should stay for one more year here in Japan. I don't know whether I could still stand being alone, loveless, in this little town. I don't know whether I can forget him sooner. If I did decide to stay, I still have my friends here who are always around to be with me and I'm so happy for that. I realized how precious they are in your life.
For now, I've decided to give this e-mailing a break and just wait what happens.
In the meantime, I'm moving on.
9:06 AM
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
I think we broke up today.
11:46 PM
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Oh cool! I can blog right through my mobile!
I am quite upset right now with S.
OK. I'm going to an orphanage in the City today as part of the yearly Christmas event done by the local JETs here in my prefecture.
9:47 AM
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
to recontract or not to recontract
lately, i've been faced by the problem whether i should stay for another year in japan or not... i sometimes do want to stay but sometimes something tells me i should go home... i don't know... i've been quite confused lately. one of the things that hold me in japan these days is that special someone i've been with... of course, that's not the only reason why i want to stay.
today in my 5th grade class, i almost lost control of myself... i usually never get mad with my students but today, they had been so noisy and rude to me while i was teaching in the class... there was one boy in this class who just never shut up his mouth... he kept saying stuff, of course in japanese, after every sentence i said... and i saw one guy who used to be my favourite who showed no interest in the stuff i was teaching... and another one who tried to bend my newly laminated BINGO cards i painstackingly made and laminated... the teacher and the students usually can tell when i get mad when i suddenly burst in japanese which i never do in my english classes... and, they know when i am not happy when my always-smiling-face changes into something else... i don't know... but these difficult kids are few and i still like most of my kids. most of japanese kids are so sweet and polite and that keeps me from leaving japan... but today was a tough day for me. i suddenly started rethinking about my future here... i told S about this and he reminded me that kids sometimes don't realize they are being very rude simply because they don't usually know they are being rude...he also reminded me that i love kids which is true...
i guess i'm ok for now...
11:37 PM
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